JERRY'S SECOND COUNTDOWN EXPERIENCE
I had forgotten all about Countdown since it switched to the 3.15 slot. Of course I could record it each day but despite (or perhaps because of) a lifetime working with technical stuff I am not really into gadgets like videos. But Countdown had not forgotten about me. The call my boss passed on to me turned out not to be some planning consultant who wanted to build umpteen flats but the great Damian Eadie himself. I nearly woke up. Anyway he had a slot to fill at the end of August and wanted to produce a one-off between myself and a guy called Duncan who had been on the show as a teenager in 1988.
Television does not always run smoothly and even the well organised Countdown crew can have a bad hair day. In fact it was their first ever, apart from the occasion when a game had to be postponed due to a member of the audience dying at an inconvenient time. In this case a lot of the problems were caused by the team being shunted off into studio 3, which has not been regularly used, because of an outside unit recording a show called Aliens Ate My Parents. Or was it Aliens Ate My Pants? This could explain why there was a young man walking around in tight jeans with a surly attitude on his face.
The first bad omens arrived before I even reached Leeds. Having left my shampoo at home (which my lodger's 2 year old seemed to find incredibly tasty, I later found out) I waited at the station for the direct train to Leeds only to find there wasn't one. So I got on the train to Sheffield which took ages as it was diverted through Worcester. A fire beside the track, apparently, though the train conductor made broad hints that she thought Network Rail were overreacting to something rather insignificant. Anyway it added half an hour and when we eventually arrived at Sheffield I had to change to a bus service because of engineering works. So in Leeds around eight, instead of six as expected, and very glad that I had travelled up on the Sunday instead of trusting to fortune.
At the hotel I found I had also forgotten my toothpaste, but no worry - the brochure in the bedroom said I could get a complementary tube form Reception. They looked a bit vague and eventually told me they had run out. Anyway I had a pint in the bar and watched the last 20 minutes of the Greece-Portugal match. You could tell the Countdown contestants as they carried on watching long after the final whistle. I moved away to devour my pizza which thoughtfully arrived a couple of minutes after the end. For some reason I was desperate to work out how to make 607 with 2 and 4*. Then a few minutes of Big Brother before deciding sleep would be more interesting. My computer confirmed that it was impossible.
After wasting a morning I headed into Yorkshire TV for 3 pm and found they were already running late. There were a lot of teething problems with moving the set to the new studio, which had only been landed on them that morning. Two of the sound engineers and two of the camera crew were new to the tem, it appeared, and Marie was sick, and even the beloved warm-up man Dudley Doolittle was on holiday. Lisa shunted us around with cool efficiency and showed us to the changing room, which was a cramped Portakabin in the car park. She kept apologising for the smell but compared to my lodger's bedroom it was sheer heaven.
So then into the studio to see Paul Gallen strut his funky stuff along with some lesser stars, ably assisted by Barry Norman. Norman Vernon took over the warm-up but it was not really the same, though Carol came in and did a few gags which went down well. Richard tried to explain that now we were moving into September the nights were drawing in etc. which brought a little quizzical laughter as it was the start of July. The first show went ok then they took me out to make-up. In the second show the clock starts as usual but with no music. Frantic checking by the technicians and eventually they discover that a lead has become disconnected. So a retake and it goes ok until Carol presses the button for the numbers game and it comes up with zero. Twice. Stop again, check it is working, redraw the numbers and here we go again. Everything ok again until we get to the conundrum which is ABLIDAGRI. Fifteen seconds in the tune changes to a Radio 4 theme tune. Everyone sits around tearing their hair out and Carol says Ah, garibaldi. Richard explains that apart form being a biscuit it is a South American fish without a capital letter. So they do a new conundrum. Then onto tomorrow's contestant who says, yes I got the conundrum and I also saw garibaldi. Whoops. This may be a little confusing when the show is screened. Another retake. Then we rush up for our photoshoot and into the canteen for dinner.
Over dinner Damian came in all apologetic and told me what I had already suspected, that we would not be able to film our show. I expected it would be done in the morning but the studio was not available for Tuesday and to avoid having us kick our heels for a day and then possible disrupt the schedules of the regular games he would invite us back at a later date. Oh well, that's showbiz.
* see 4 large numbers
Jerry can be contacted by mailing mail@jerryh.org.uk